Release Your Inner Kraken

If you were raised like myself you were taught to eat, sleep and breathe the Golden Rule.
If you were a woman raised like myself you were taught that opinionated, strong, demanding, independent women were insane/crazy/unstable.


For many years I would feel so hurt and guilty when I expressed anger.
I would allow people to overstep my boundaries and put myself in uncomfortable positions because I didn't want to be disrespectful or hurtful in expressing my needs & wants.
I felt that expressing my needs, wants, hurt & anger was in some way hurtful to the other person.




This week I implore all of you soft-spoken, empathetic, peace-loving warriors like myself to release your inner Kraken.

I'm here to help you begin your journey to a happier, healthier, more productive, more direct, more honest,  less dramatic & less bullshitty life. Prepare for changes not only within yourself but some acquaintances will magically disappear.  You may not see it now this early in creating a healthier, happier life but you don't need those people. Trust me.
This selfish act will separate the men from the boys and will mine out parasites you have allowed in your life. You may feel the positive effects immediately or it may take some time to adjust to the inner peaceful feeling but you will be happier.
Whether you want to dip your big toe in and test the waters slowly or dive Olympic-style smoothly into the pool is your decision.


I'm no expert & I'm still definitely learning this skill but here's what I have discovered thus far:




Do:

• Embrace the positive changes that occur when you address your true, inner bitch.
• Take back your power.
• Stand up for yourself.
• Demand what you want from your life.
• Express yourself assertively.
• Do be direct as possible and establish clearly what your goal or needs are.
• Accept that you cannot change a person. Be prepared to accept that some people simply do not care or are incapable of empathy.
• Be prepared to walk away from those aforementioned people.
• Inform someone when a set boundary is crossed or you feel uncomfortable.
• Do not doubt your feelings.
• Continue to be happy regardless the outcome.
• Find ways to boost your self-esteem.
• Love yourself above all others.
• Address any misconceptions and dysfunctional thinking which made you tolerate these people in the first place.
• Forgive. Forgive because you refuse to allow anger and other negative emotions to rule your heart and life.
• Do take responsibility for your life. You have allowed whatever in your life. We cannot change people but we can change ourselves. We can ask for someone to listen and respect us but they must be cut if they cannot tolerate reasonable requests.
• Make reasonable requests.
• Know your basic human rights.

Do Not:

• Do not allow a person to make you feel guilty for having needs.
• Do not allow people to control you, your emotions or alter your perception of yourself.
• Don't allow a person to manipulate you or manage down your expectations.
• Do not allow people to prey on your empathy.
• Don't lash out at every insensitive occurrence. (Been there. It's difficult to regulate these unfamiliar emotions at times. Check yourself before your wreck yourself. )
• Don't punch elderly women in line at the grocery because they are paying via check.
• Don't run someone off the road because blinkers do not exist in Nashville.
• Do not give continuous chances to a person who continues to ignore your needs.
• Do not reward unacceptable behavior with your time/energy/love/gifts.
• Do not become heartless.
• Do not allow insensitive people to change you into someone your aren't.
• Don't give more than 2 chances.

The best case scenario is that by respecting yourself you will immediately command respect and increase your own value, self-worth and self-esteem. The worst thing that will happen with your newfound focus is the almost automatic removal of assclowns from your life who are only sucking your life away.

There really isn't a worse-case scenario. You win either way.


And if you still feel a tinge guilty about not following the Golden Rule remember people treat us as we allow it. Some people were not taught this. Some people will not follow by example.
Give people the benefit of the doubt.  They may not know how you want to be treated if you've accepted it until this point. Besides, wouldn't YOU want to know if YOU could do something to improve all relationships in your life.


And you don't have to follow my advice. Maybe you don't need to release the Kraken.
Maybe you should release your inner Samuel Jackson. But that's a blog for another time.

Keep roaring, pillaging & growing,
-xo
CherieBobomb